I aspire to someday write like Brené Brown. I love how authentic and REAL she is. Braving the Wilderness was the first of her books that I ever read. I know, you might say, "Why didn't you start with 'Daring Greatly'?" Because I didn't, and I have no regrets.
Today I wanted to bring to you the B.R.A.V.I.N.G. checklist as a helpful tool to define trusting oneself and others.
"I love using BRAVING as a wilderness checklist because it reminds me that trusting myself or other people is a vulnerable and courageous process."
Being vulnerable takes so much courage, trusting myself and other people requires that same courage.
If you are working on trusting others, you most likely are also working on trusting yourself (or maybe could benefit from working on that if you aren't already). So, what does it mean to trust others? Here is Brené Brown's checklist:
B - Boundaries
This means others respect your boundaries. When you are unsure about what is acceptable and what is not, you ask. And the big one, you are willing to say "no."
R - Reliability
Do what you say you are going to do. Basically, "walking the talk." This means stay aware of your own abilities and limitations. Reminds me of the saying, "it is better to under promise and over deliver, than over promise and under deliver."
A- Accountability
Own it if you make a mistake. Apologize and make amends if you were at fault.
V - Vault
Keep the information you are given as precious and confidential. Get used to using the phrase, "that is not my story to share."
I - Integrity
Choose what is right over what is comfortable or fun, this means you are practicing your values no matter who is watching.
N - Nonjudgement
We can talk about how we feel without judgement. My needs are valid, and your needs are valid, so we can ask for those needs safely.
G - Generosity
"Extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others." It is so easy to assume the worst of someone, but instead try to hear their heart, and their intention behind the behavior if possible.
If you are wanting to work more on self- trust, change the pronouns to "I" and ask yourself if you are doing these things.
This is a good way to check in with yourself, because trusting others begins with trusting ourselves.
Often in relationship it can be easy to start gas-lighting yourself, or only believing other people because they consistently tell us that we are wrong. So using BRAVING as a checklist to determine if you are doing the best you can to trust yourself, then it will be easier to apply the checklist to others.
In her book she re-writes the list as questions for self-trust, so that is available to you within the book as well.
The goal is not necessarily to do all of these things perfectly, but to have a way to check in with yourself in order to know what to work on.
Hopefully you will be able to use kindness and self-compassion instead of criticism and judgement even when looking through this checklist.
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